i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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