Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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