Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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