she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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