I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
