found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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