he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
