In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
