I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
