if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
