HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
This is my gift to your gina
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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