Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
