I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I am never drinking with the goths again.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize