i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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