Jerry, you need to find god
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
