The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
