He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
