if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
