Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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