bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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