To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
