That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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