Where did you get a picture of my penis
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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