Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
