Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
