Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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