I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Randomize