i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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