JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
