I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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