Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
