She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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