I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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