The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
