I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
So squirting runs in the family.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
