...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i barfeds in our rink
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
