so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
