I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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