no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
accomplished twins. life is a go
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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