margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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