I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
