don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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