Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So much rum. So many feels.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
