He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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