Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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