Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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