just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I am one with the molecules
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
