Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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