We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
