What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
