What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
