it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
