I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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