what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
