Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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