My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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