I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize