Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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