Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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