the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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