I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
