My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
